Tell the world I'm coming home (March 18)

For the last 36 hours, I’ve had three lines of one song stuck in my head. Over and over and over on repeat.

I’m coming home

I’m coming home

Tell the world I’m coming home

But of all the songs that have been stuck in my head over the years, I don’t know that these lines will ever get old. And that’s because of the reason they're stuck there in the first place.

Friday morning I got some awesome news. After six months of applying to internships, stressing like crazy over what to do with my life and then spending six weeks going through the interview process for an internship that I really wanted, I finally got the news that I’d waited so long to hear.

I will be the new photography intern at The Bakersfield Californian.

Two days before I woke up to a voicemail from TBC’s photo editor my stress levels were peaking. I had written more cover letters, sent out more resumes and put together more versions of my portfolio than I want to think about. And as I went through the process and continued to look for more jobs, I kept coming back to one undeniable fact. As great as many of the jobs I was finding were, they weren’t where I wanted them to be. After four years of bouncing between Maryland, Houston and now Australia, I was ready to be home.

Once I decided to make getting back to California my priority, I began working on changing my vision for my future. On convincing myself that photography could become just a hobby, that I could see myself working in an office, and that I could figure out how to actually grow up (because let’s face it, for as long as I get to spend my days capturing moments with my camera, I will remain uninhibited, easily excitable and full of youth).

My computer hated me for two days as I opened tab after tab of potential advertising and marketing jobs that I could apply for. But luckily, I never had to.

I had a paper due on Friday at 4pm. My final paper of college. It was for my Australian Media class and was about psychological treatment for journalists after trauma coverage. I actually really enjoyed writing it, but I felt the need to stay up all night writing it since it was my final paper. 

So I stayed up working on it until 5am Friday morning, going to bed only after making sure that my roommate would wake me up at 11 so I’d have time to go over it a few times before turning it in. When I woke up to a tap on my leg at 11, I did the first thing I do every morning. I checked my phone.

It was then that I saw the missed call and voicemail from TBC’s photo editor. By the time I had checked his message and walked out to the living room to call him back, I was trembling. I knew the conversation was going to go one of two ways. Thankfully, it went as I had hoped.

After I got over my initial excitement, there were phone calls to be made. I knew my mom was in class (her final class at UCLA! Go Mom!) so I called home, dying to share the news with my favorite little man.

Over the last four years, there’s been one memory that consistently chokes me up and it’s a moment that I wasn’t actually there for, but one that was described to me after the fact. My freshman year my Mom, Rachel and Tommy flew out to College Park to help me move in. At the end of the weekend, saying goodbye was incredibly difficult, but Tommy didn’t seem to fully process what goodbye meant as I left them at Stamp to walk back to my dorm. Something must've clicked shortly after and when they pulled up next to me during my walk, there were tears running down his face. My mom later told me that he stared out the window in silence for the entire car ride with tears streaming down his face and when they bought him a stuffed animal at the airport, he named it Jackie.

Four years of keeping in touch via phone calls and brief visits home has been rough and it was so nice to finally get to tell that same sweet little boy that I was coming home. When I called home, Tommy answered and I could hear the smile in his voice as I broke the news. The moment was priceless.

Over the last day and a half, I’ve gotten to share my excitement with some of the amazing people who have helped me get to where I am today and it has been absolutely wonderful. Thank you all for your love and support.